Dear 13-Year-Old Rice Spice

For a while, this tag was going around to write a letter to your 13-year-old self. I thought it was very cool, but never got around to jumping on the band wagon. But, seeing as I was completely useless as work today because my computer crashed and all I could open was the Word Program and the Internet, I decided to start my letter. What do you think?

Dear 13-Year-Old Rice Spice,

You are officially in junior high. Currently, you love New Kids on the Block as well as The Cure, Depeche Mode, Madonna, and Janet Jackson. Let me tell you now, stop spending your parents’ money on all that New Kids shit because it won’t be worth anything when you get older. Yes, yes, I know…you may think they are the next coming of The Beatles, but sadly, they are not. In 17 years, Danny will still look like a monkey, Donnie’s brother will have a more successful singing then later acting career than him, Jon will fall off the face of the Earth, Jordan (the love of your life) will become an asshole and even more so after he unsuccessfully tries to revive his music career, and Joey goes on to star and win on a dancing show of celebrity has-beens. Pretty depressing. On a lighter note, The Cure, Depeche Mode, Madonna, and Janet are still performing.

As I believe that everything happens for a reason and all the decisions and even mistakes we've made are what makes us who we are today, I still feel there are a few things that would’ve made your life easier had you simply had the assistance of your 30-year-old self serving as a guide. However, you are very stubborn (a trait you will never shake), so this may all be for nothing.

1. Your parents are smarter than you think. They WILL catch you sneaking out. It may take a few years to catch you hopping in and out of that window, but they will. So either stop doing it or come up with a better plan than putting your stuffed panda in your place under the covers. Otherwise, come up with a much better excuse when you’re caught than that one of your friends “really needed you because she was crying and depressed.” Honestly, what the hell is a 13-year-old going to do at 1am for another 13-year-old who’s upset. Yea, nothing…so find a better excuse – something with severed body parts, psychotic clown killers, anything is better than that load of crap.
2. When you get to high school, you will have a lot of fun despite your parents’ desire to thwart it. There is definitely a cultural gap to contend with, but just be strong and work through it. It makes you a better person to later understand the adversity your parents were facing in a new country with different views and ideals.
3. When you have your choice to go to college, do not feel guilty by your parents to stay in town nor that the scholarship you receive at University of Houston is the best reason to go there – even though it was the most money offered. You have many other opportunities that surface, think about those longer and harder. You will go into A LOT of debt for school no matter where you go.
4. Should you still decide to go to UH, when you meet a cute guy in your literature class your second semester of freshman year, RUN! Ok, I’m being a bit harsh. Enjoy dating him for a year…maybe two, but when you get the first inkling that you guys are past your prime and you should let it go, do so. Do not drag it on. Do not let him take care of your finances as a couple. Do not get engaged. Do not let him convince you that you are less than you are or that you can’t do any better. Do not let him tell you that you are not a beautiful person because you are! Do not let his inability to handle situations give you any impression it is your fault. FUCK HIM!
5. Probably the most important piece of advice I can give you is in regards to the summer of 2004. Go to your parents and ask for money, go to the bank and get a loan, make your parents get a loan, and beg your friends for spare change. I know this sounds strange and that you will probably shrug me off, but this is by far the best advice you will get from this letter. Buy as many shares of this thing called Google (GOOG) during their IPO on August 19, 2004. This will be the lowest it will ever sell for. I know this is all foreign to you, but TRUST, you will LOVE me for telling you this. Keep it for 3 years and sell it for about 7 times its initial worth. Hell, tell your friends about it, too. Rich people should hang out with other rich people, don't you think?
6. And lastly, when your friend with the big, greenish hazel eyes starts going out with you to dinner by yourself and not with the group and you realize that it could be for ulterior motives, stop fighting it. Go with it, sista! All you’re doing is wasting time and stalling. You still end up with him in the end, so this whole cat and mouse thing and keeping it hush-hush is ridiculous. Your friends figure it out anyway, so why bother? I even think your friends figure it out before you even figure it out for yourself. Yes, he will drive you crazy, but you will love him regardless and more than you’ve ever loved anyone before. Also, he’ll love you even more if you have that GOOG stock I mentioned earlier :)
   

Overall, you learned to take care of yourself early on even if your choices weren’t always the best and sometimes may have even been the worst, but all in all you survived a lot. Actually, I’m surprised you are not dead by 30. You will always make mistakes because, c’mon, you’re Rice Spice… BUT, regardless, you are one kick-ass broad and don’t you ever forget that! You have a great family and wonderful friends that not many can say they are lucky enough to have. So go forth, 13-year-old self, and die your hair purple then red then blonde, keep driving your parents crazy, and continue to let curiosity get the best of you. That’s how you experienced some of your greatest adventures!