I only grow my hair simply so I can rip it out

Things have been completely insane lately. Not only do I feel like I'm in a constant mode of PMS and that even Boyfriend's cheery, smiling face saying "Good Morning" makes me what to tear my left arm out of socket and wave it around my head while yelling obscenties (don't worry - lots of closing my eyes and counting to 10 has helped me from losing limbs)...but Job#1 has gotten busier than ever for me. I should have suspected that would happen since Job#2 has gotten significantly easier. Damn ying trying to counter my yang.

Let me start from the beginning. Some of you know that I work for an airline at Job#2. At this job, I was given the opportunity to start working from home. This has saved me the roundtrip drive time between either Job#1 or home to Job#2 (about a 20-30 min commute in rush hour) and gas money. As we all know, gas ain't cheap nowadays! This has been fantastic!

On the downside, the poop has hit the fan at Job#1. At Job#1, I work as an executive assistant for a company downtown that makes some pretty impressive headlines in the energy finance industry. There are only two other assistants to support the people at our office in addition to myself. I support three guys (business and virtually personal assistant) as well as maintain the office's Accounts Receivables/Accounts Payable, office maintenance, supply inventories of all areas, etc. It gets pretty crazy trying to maintain the office when you have an executive standing over you asking a million question and having you book some of the most bizarre trans-international routings for different meetings they have throughout the week. However, I manage. And I'm pretty damn good at what I do....AND I'm compensated nicely for it.

Unfortunately, the assistant who has been there longer than me (essentially our office manager) got into an accident two Fridays ago at which point she slipped, got a concussion, and fractured her skull Yes, fractured her skull!!! She is slowly recovering, but going through some excruciating headaches and nausea caused by the contusions bleeding out to other parts of her head. Sadly there is nothing she can do but to wait until the brusing goes away on its own. Basically, it's just a wait and see. Even worse, she has now lost her sense of smell....hopefully temporarily. We are in constant crossed-fingers for her.

With all this in mind, Coworker was out all last week and will be out this coming week. We hired a temp to answer the phones and deal with basic office work so that the two of us assistants left would have more time to support the four people Coworker assisted. So needless today, I've been slammed. Seeing as I've been there longer than the other assistant, Coworker's bosses come to me for help rather than the other assistant. I finally had to put my foot down on Friday when I almost burst into tears for being overwhelmed that I couldn't support 7 people (my 3 and Coworker's 4). I have designated a couple of them to go to the other assistant for anything they needed effective immediately. I would no longer be assisting them. Period. The downside of it is that the other assistant is not the proactive type of assistant that just does things to get them done. She will only do what she is told and never above and beyond that. I'm still hoping it is because she is relatively new to our company and will learn that is unacceptable because the assistants for our company are normally about 3 steps ahead of what our bosses are thinking... and that's what gets us ahead. I know that is why all of Coworker's bosses preferred me handling their business matters, but supporting 7 people and running an office in the officer manager's absence just about killed me. Now I understand why people become alcoholics!

So tomorrow I start another week of craziness. I'm hoping for a smoother week since a lot of the people in my office will be traveling, but you just never know. Thank goodness it's a short work week!

Bringing the Sexy

We all know one. It's that person who constantly takes pictures of themselves in a mirror trying to be seductive. Seriously? Really? Don't get me wrong. I definitely take pictures of myself trying to bring the sexy when I've had a few too many Dewars and sodas, Jaegar bombs, or Patron Shots...case in point... like HERE:

Avert your eyes - one should never see Rice Spice in this condition

BUT... I never put pictures like this out for the general public to see (except for now to make my point or when I'm trying to be funny). What cracks me up is there are people who put pictures of themselves in this pose out there because they really think they look sexy. Bizarre. I think I look like a cracked out, puffy-lipped Asian hooker trying to see if you could spare a couple bucks for a good time. Wow, I'm sure my parents would be so proud of that self-description.

Back on track to why I started this post... I was on MySpace today and I noticed a girl had updated her page with new photos according to the little feature that lets you see when changes our made to people in your friends list. She has about 10 pictures she took of her reflection in a mirror. No joke...maybe more than 10 pictures! That means she actually changed positions and poses all those times to capture her sexiness from all different angles - smiling sexy, serious sexy, sitting sexy, standing sexy....you name it. All I can say is...wow. I won't post her picture because that would be mean and since Thursday is the only day of the week I can't be mean, I found something similar in this photo:

Why oh why? Oh, well. I guess I will never understand. I just think it's so weird to do an entire photo shoot with yourself in front of a mirror. And I'm a pretty narcissistic person...ha! Maybe it's just me. I just don't get it.

There's a New Kid on the Block...and I'm not talking about the old geezers going on tour!

A big warm and fuzzy welcome to blogdom for WEENIE as she has started a blog all the way from Japan!!! I've been trying to convince her since she moved there to start one not only to allow her a creative outlet for her writing skills, but to chronicle her life as a wife and mother making her way through a new and exciting experience. Plus, I'm nosey in an almost stalker way and want to know what she's doing and with the time difference, it's a bit hard to touch base regularly via phone. I know...selfish. I can live with that.

Go figure that her first few entries are witty and absolutely hilarious. She may just give Dooce a run for her money!

So visit her blog and leave a comment so that she knows she wasn't wrong in taking a step into the blog community. And while you're at it, comment on my page to let me know you love me...hehe. For those without accounts on blogger, you don't have to have one to leave comments. You can just choose the option for "Name" and fill out your own name or "Anonymous" if you want to be mysterious and/or creepy, stalkeresque.

And by the way, this picture that I used reminds me so much of that scene from Grease when Danny is at the drive-in singing "Sandy". Remember that scene? At the very end, the hot dog jumps into the bun on the screen behind Danny Zucko. Nothing like a little sexual innuendo! Ahhhh...memories! Damn!!! Now I have "You're the One That I Want" playing over and over in my head.

DPS aka The fiery pits of Hell

I just walked into the DPS to get the address changed on my driver's license. I know, I know...you should be able change that type of info online, right? Right. That is, unless you are Rice Spice. For some strange reason it wouldn't let me process the change over the website, so here I am. In. Hell.

Not only am I ill-prepared to take a picture (blame lack of sleep and needing to be at work way too early this morning to even remotely try to look cute), but I just got my number. I'm good 'ol customer #60. As I look up at the counter clock to get an idea of my wait time, I see they are on #38. Sheesh! I better get comfy.

There is a girl who looks about 4yrs old who feel the need to repeatedly sing the alpahabet and stopping at the letter "V". She's done it about 6 times now. I'm about to tell her to learn the rest of the damn song or shut the hell up. Hmmmm...could this place be making me even more short-fused? Surely not... Not to mention that the guy to the right of me has halitosis and the girl on the left of me keeps trying to look at what I'm typing on my blackberry.

Seriously, if I didn't have a ticket to try to get out of because of a license without my current address, I'd say "eff this!" Oh well. This really sucks!

The Prairie Dress: Fashion vs. Function - The Big Debate

Ok... I understand that the whole polygamist ranch story is a serious matter. HOWEVER, I'm always about making light of an uncomfortable situation. This video made me giggle simply because I have been so baffled by this same topic since pictures of the women of Yearning For Zion Ranch went public. I keep thinking I'm watching Little House on the Prairie when they show news footage and waiting for Nellie Olsen to pop up on the screen saying something bratty in her whiney voice while Laura Ingalls gets ready to beat her arse.

Why do people leave me to my own devices? Really.

So about 1 margarita from dinner and 4 (teesnsy weensy) glasses into a bottle of white wine at this point. So.... I've decided to log into the computer and be ridiculous. You know, check on my regular peeps. Boyfriend is passed out in the bed while watching the Rockets play the Jazz. Seriously...I need the Rockets to win because I have $10 on the game. That and I'm so ready for us to have a winning franchise...any franchise at this point. Kinda hard to put all my eggs in one basket with the Texans football team. I've tried and repeatedly lost my eggs AND the basket. Anyways... thjsdp (ok...haha...that typo is what happened when I tried to type the word "that's")...What I was trying to say is.... Anyways, that's all for now. I should lie my tipsy ass in bed and dream of sugar plums or sugar cookies or something of the sweet fat ass nature dancing in my effing head. Have a good Friday and GO ROCKETS!!!! I need that damn $10!

What an effing FREAK!

I know by now that you have already heard of that freak of nature Josef Fritzl. He's that psychopath that locked his own daughter in the basement for 24 years along with three of the six kids he fathered with her. The seventh child died right after birth, so he just nonchalantly got rid of the body by incinerating it. Sick bastard!

I'm so fascinated on how a human being can be so evil. Not fascinated in a sense of awe, but fascinated in a sense of absolute disgust bordering on rage. How can a man imprison his own daughter and repeatedly rape her producing several children?!?! Seriously. Was there ever a point that he thought to himself, "Wow, I'm a sick fuck!" Really...I wonder if there was ever a moment of realization that what he was doing was wrong. But then I have to remember...if he did this for 24 years, he probably isn't capable of rationally determining right from wrong. I'm sure he lost that ability to decipher the difference...I don't know, somewhere around year 2 of holding his daughter captive. Sheesh!

My question goes out to his wife. How stupid are you that you don't realize that your husband is keeping an entire family prison in your basement? If Boyfriend told me that he was "working" in the basement for extended periods of time and sometimes overnight, I would definitely think something was amidst. Especially, if he told me under no circumstance may I go down there. Under no circumstance my ass! If he didn't let me down there freely, I sure as hell would demand to be given access to enter the basement or break into it myself to find out what all the Mission Impossible secrecy was about. Did this woman not suspect anything when random babies just started showing up on her doorstep with some lame excuse that their long, lost runaway daughter dropped three kids off every couple of years or so? She's obviously no genius that one! She should be arrested as an accomplice for being an absolute moron!!!

Another major point of interest is the whole concept of these children not knowing what the outside world is like. Never having seen sunlight. This blows the whole theory out of the water that sunlight is a necessity for the human body to sustain life. I wonder if the conditions they were accustomed to have made their senses weaker, stronger, more sensitive, less sensitive, their immune systems stronger or weaker having not been subjected to every day bacterias. So many questions.

All I can say is I feel sorry for the people who lived in the basement. It will be a major adjustment for them to get use to life outside of their prison, and they will be a circus side show act for years to come as people will always be interested in their story. One can only hope for the best and that none of them follow in their grandfather/father's footsteps to sociopathic behavior.