I was laying in bed tossing and turning. So I finally decided to sit up and start blogging. Although... I am still being lazy as I post from my blackberry in bed ;). Maybe blogging could help me fall asleep? At this point, I doubt it but at least I can unload a couple things.
Lately, I've been feeling run down and worn out. I know that it comes as a shock to you that 100-mile-an-hour Jacky is running out of gas. Maybe I can blame it on turning 30 being right around the corner and causing me to be more introspective...or just plain old and tired. Granted I've been fighting off the wonderful upper respiratory yucks going around that EVERYONE around me has/had been harboring and the record-breaking pollen count has had me living off decongestants and considering stabbing my eye out to relieve the sinus pressure in my head, but I've also been a bit out of sorts about life lately.
Banana's been dealing with planning some major life changes professionally that has triggered me to thinking about my own situation. Again. I posted a while back about being down, and this was one of the reasons why. Just one, mind you. There. Are. More. But, one issue at a time, right?
All of you know that I work two jobs. Jobs that I have expressed gratefulness for because, let's face it, many people would love the jobs I have. However, I'm starting to get that reoccuring feeling that I don't think I should keep going with Job# 2. I say it every year, but this time...I think I mean it. I'm tired, I'm not as happy as I used to be about the perks it offers, and I'm getting the feeling that I'm not doing it for the right reasons anymore.
Maybe it is that I'm getting older, but I want to have a normal life...or at least my "dream version" of a normal life.
My version of a perfect day would be to wake up at 5am, be at the gym from 5:30 to 7:00 (run for about a half hour and do strength training/body sculpting the other hour), go home and get ready for my day, be at Job# 1 by 8am, work until 5 or 6pm, actually experience "after-work down time", have dinner with Baby (food and my Baby - two things I heart), actually spend time doing "nothing" with Baby such as watching mindless tv shows like American Idol (it feels like 85% of the time we're together, we have to be somewhere or do something), and being in bed for a 7-8 hour night's sleep by 10pm. Doing that at least 3 days of the week would be grand! Hell, I'll take 2 days!!!
This is my typical day (if I don't say 'eff it' and sleep in that extra 1.5 hrs by skipping the gym): wake up at 5:30am, hit the gym til 7am, at work by 8am, work Job# 1 until 5 or 6pm, head to Job# 2, work from 6:30-10:30pm, get home right before 11pm, get ready for bed and unwind, and fall asleep somewhere between 11:45pm and 1am for a whopping average 5.5 hrs of sleep. At age 21 when I started this gig, I was kicking ass and taking names. At 29.9 yrs old, I'm getting my ass KICKED and have almost forgotten my own name half the time because...well...I just don't have that kind of gusto anymore.
So I'm thinking my best bet is to take some really phenomenal trips with my friends and family this year as the free/discounted travel will be history when I say 'sayonara' to Job# 2, THEN I can turn in my letter of resignation some time right before the Thanksgiving holiday. Maybe mid-October after my annual Hawaii trip. Now the question is... Can I wait that long??? Can I make it to the Fall without ripping all my hair out???
Damn, this post is REALLY long and I need to be up in a few hours! Grrrrr...
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2 comments:
Well, I think everyone has been contemplating life lately. Since I am older than both you and Banana, I have already experienced 30! Life is BETTER! If you can live comfortably with just the one job, you should quit your 2nd one. Life is WAY to short to spend it under fluorescent lighting.
Indeed, life IS too short to spend working, working, working. I don't want to wake up one day, at 65 years old, ready to retire, and ask myself,"Just WTF did I DO with all my best years?" Nope, that's not what I want at all. Life is short, and there are so many aspects of it that are eclipsed by our inclination to work constantly ... you make all that money, so you can do whatever you want, yet have no TIME to do it! Where's the sense in that?
I say, to hell with the second job! Spend more time with Baby, spend more time dining, watching TV or even taking naps, if that's what you choose to do. Do what you WANT to do ... you'll be happier that way than the extra money makes you, I guarantee.
It does seem like 30 is the year to get our lives on track ... I guess we've all finally "grown up" and realized what's really important in life.
Scary thought, no? :)
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