I'm starting to believe this astrological horoscope b.s...

I've always believed in destiny, but I've also believed that one can steer their destiny in the right or wrong direction. Always ending up where you were suppose to, but taking odd forks in the road now and again to get there. Almost like that bad, but cult classic movie Final Destination or it's many other sequels. If something is going to happen, you can fight it...but you still end up dying from a massive slab of glass crushing you as you walk across the street a few days later! Ok, maybe not that dramatic or gruesome, but you get the idea.

As for astrological signs and horoscopes, I give them some merit... but not much. First off, I'm a Taurus. You're saying to yourself, "A-HA!!!! That's why she's so stubborn!" Yes, yes... however (and a BIG HOWEVER), every time I find something new explaining the "Taurus Personality," they tend to contradict one another. One book will say I'm materialistic and another will say I'm frugal. A website will say I want stability in homelife and some article will say I desire to travel the world never rooting in one place for too long. Makes me wonder if they're looking at the same stars, if some are looking at the astrological map upside down, or smoking a little something-something.

Back to the title of my post... After my long drawn out schpeel from last night/early this morning on the last post, my horoscope on MSN.com seemed to be pretty relevent. Interesting...

Taurus (April 19 - May 19)
You've got a lot on your mind right now, dear Taurus, and others might be interpreting your quiet behavior as aloofness. Go right ahead and let them think so. You've got some real issues to think through and decisions with important consequences. You will be able to smooth their ruffled feathers later. Right now, focus on taking care of yourself.

I guess I still have more thinking to do...

Although, I wanted to thank both Diana Banana and Single Girl for their support. advice and kind words are truly appreciated! Everything you two said are pretty much the same things that I've come to the conclusion already as well as what Baby and Doc have expressed over the last few years. I think this may very well be the last year I do this craziness with Job#2. I just need to suck it up, and let it go. I guess now, it's all about timing...

Can't sleep... thinking about my life...

I was laying in bed tossing and turning. So I finally decided to sit up and start blogging. Although... I am still being lazy as I post from my blackberry in bed ;). Maybe blogging could help me fall asleep? At this point, I doubt it but at least I can unload a couple things.

Lately, I've been feeling run down and worn out. I know that it comes as a shock to you that 100-mile-an-hour Jacky is running out of gas. Maybe I can blame it on turning 30 being right around the corner and causing me to be more introspective...or just plain old and tired. Granted I've been fighting off the wonderful upper respiratory yucks going around that EVERYONE around me has/had been harboring and the record-breaking pollen count has had me living off decongestants and considering stabbing my eye out to relieve the sinus pressure in my head, but I've also been a bit out of sorts about life lately.

Banana's been dealing with planning some major life changes professionally that has triggered me to thinking about my own situation. Again. I posted a while back about being down, and this was one of the reasons why. Just one, mind you. There. Are. More. But, one issue at a time, right?

All of you know that I work two jobs. Jobs that I have expressed gratefulness for because, let's face it, many people would love the jobs I have. However, I'm starting to get that reoccuring feeling that I don't think I should keep going with Job# 2. I say it every year, but this time...I think I mean it. I'm tired, I'm not as happy as I used to be about the perks it offers, and I'm getting the feeling that I'm not doing it for the right reasons anymore.

Maybe it is that I'm getting older, but I want to have a normal life...or at least my "dream version" of a normal life.

My version of a perfect day would be to wake up at 5am, be at the gym from 5:30 to 7:00 (run for about a half hour and do strength training/body sculpting the other hour), go home and get ready for my day, be at Job# 1 by 8am, work until 5 or 6pm, actually experience "after-work down time", have dinner with Baby (food and my Baby - two things I heart), actually spend time doing "nothing" with Baby such as watching mindless tv shows like American Idol (it feels like 85% of the time we're together, we have to be somewhere or do something), and being in bed for a 7-8 hour night's sleep by 10pm. Doing that at least 3 days of the week would be grand! Hell, I'll take 2 days!!!

This is my typical day (if I don't say 'eff it' and sleep in that extra 1.5 hrs by skipping the gym): wake up at 5:30am, hit the gym til 7am, at work by 8am, work Job# 1 until 5 or 6pm, head to Job# 2, work from 6:30-10:30pm, get home right before 11pm, get ready for bed and unwind, and fall asleep somewhere between 11:45pm and 1am for a whopping average 5.5 hrs of sleep. At age 21 when I started this gig, I was kicking ass and taking names. At 29.9 yrs old, I'm getting my ass KICKED and have almost forgotten my own name half the time because...well...I just don't have that kind of gusto anymore.

So I'm thinking my best bet is to take some really phenomenal trips with my friends and family this year as the free/discounted travel will be history when I say 'sayonara' to Job# 2, THEN I can turn in my letter of resignation some time right before the Thanksgiving holiday. Maybe mid-October after my annual Hawaii trip. Now the question is... Can I wait that long??? Can I make it to the Fall without ripping all my hair out???

Damn, this post is REALLY long and I need to be up in a few hours! Grrrrr...

What a disasterous morning!

So in an effort to get back on my healthy track, I got up this morning and ran 2.5 miles. I was struggling BIG TIME. Just a couple of months ago, I was running 3 miles stretches with ease 4 days a week and up to 5 miles if I felt like pushing myself. Gotta hate when slacking on your gym time takes it's toll on you! I get back to my apartment and head straight to the bathroom to turn the shower on, and then it happened - *squirt, squirt, trickle, squirt*. The water wasn't working. So I head over to the sink and try that. Again, denied.

After calling my complex for almost half an hour and getting a busy signal, I finally get the answering service at which time they confirm what I already knew. A water line had broken affecting the entire complex, and there was no estimated time as to when it would be fixed. So there I stood... mortified that I would have to go through the day a greasy, sweaty, smelly mess because we're short-staffed today, and I HAVE to be at the office and can't take a personal day. What's even more ironic is that it's the one day that every single one of my friends that normally don't have to be in for work until 8:30 a.m. or later all went to work early this morning squashing any possibility of toting my toiletries elsewhere for a shower. What are the odds?

So I kicked into resourceful gear. With the help of some bottled waters and a packet of my two-year-old niece's baby wipes left at my place on her last visit, I was able to make myself quasi-presentable for the general public. I felt like I was camping with what I had to work with. Greasy hair pulled back in a ponytail and doused with tropical body spray, I was only 30 minutes late to work. Maybe this is a sign that going to the gym is bad luck...haha.

I guess I'm a snob

Today I went looking at an apartment complex over my lunch hour. It is one block from where I live now. I knew walking into the situation that this place would be a downgrade from where I was only because it is an older complex built in the 1960's. It was renovated in 2003, but you know that they can only do so much. But, they had an awesome price (about $110 less per month than what I'm paying righ now). So I figured I could entertain the idea of not living in a luxury apartment. WRONG. Yes, the price was even less than what I was hoping to pay, but I guess I've gotten used to the attached parking garages and not having to walk half a mile to a dumpster to take out my trash. I couldn't believe how snobby I was....but I suppose I've become a true yuppie. The unit was a good size and great price. Why oh why can't I just like it?!?!? Maybe even just deal with it?!?!?!

Here are the problems I had:

1. The MAJOR problem - the unit is located right in front of the complex's front entrance gate. So I'm guessing I will hear the thing creaking open and closed late at night or whenever some drunkass decides to plow into it...as we all know happens in EVERY complex...even the nice ones.
2. Another biggie is I'd be going to unassigned, first-come-first serve, limited covered parking. As stated above, I'm a snooty chica whose had an attached parking garage for almost 6 years. I'll actually have to use an umbrella to go to my car if it rains...wow, I really am a spoiled brat!
3. Downgrading from a garden tub to a regular tub - this I might be able to handle, but the bathroom itself is less than half the size of my current - I would consider it more of a nook rather than a bathroom...and it does NOT have a linen closet in it. Where the hell am I suppose to keep my towels? And mind you...this is me just being high-maintenance, but I'd also be going from 8 drawer spaces to ONE! Granted, I never used all 8 but still! It was one of the perks of having a double-sinked bathroom when there was only one of me :) But the extra sink was great for guests. I'm more horrified about the linen closet...
4. This will be my OCD about little things that will kill me. The little bar area that is a cutout window to the kitchen...it's counter is crooked. I mean dipping down the middle as if some elephant had been sitting in the center. Yep, that will kill me to have to stare at...kinda like broccoli in someone's teeth.

UGH! So I'm officially a high-maintenanced, snobby yuppie. Go ahead...shoot me now! At this rate, I will never find a place in the lower price range I want. I might as well just SUCK IT UP and pay what I'm paying now...