What do you think of it?

A few years ago, I started writing little mini-stories about my dating life - almost a diary of sorts so that I would never forget the bizarre experiences that I once endured. It was absolutely hilarious. It was kind of a combination of a few friends dating experiences, but mainly my disasters. I found the intro I wrote in a computer file I completely forgot existed. After reading it and some of the proceeding entries, it reminded me of how funny some of my experiences were. Something to make Single Girl not feel so alone in her dating mishaps. Here is just the intro. I won't really include the actual mini-stories as this post would go on FOREVER. Each chapter of my unfinished book was dedicated to an "interesting" character I came across in my single years. I only covered two or three guys, and sadly, that's when I stopped writing and forgot all about it.

I never really proofed it with a fine-tooth comb so I know that it can use some cleaning up, but it was just a free-flowing writing session... What do you think?

(the following italicized paragraphs are Copyrighted by Rice Spice ©)

MY INTRO

You should write a book. I think at some point or another, everyone hears that line from a friend or acquaintance who hears you recap an entertaining story from your life. Strangely enough, I hear that statement just about every time I discuss my dating experiences. Could it be because I’m completely hapless when it comes to attracting members of the opposite sex? Could it just be that I give off the pheromone that screams, “Unemployed men, come to me!”? Regardless of the case, I’ve done my share of meeting Mr. Right Now(s), Mr. Absolutely Wrong(s), and just plain psycho paths. So here I am chronicling some of the funnier points of my dating mishaps as well as some borrowed material from other 20- and 30-somethings trying to find love in all the wrong places.

I grew up in a small, suburban town outside of the energy capitol of America. After a virtually non-existent love life throughout high school due to strict Asian parent ideals, I moved on to college and entered the dating world relatively new to what it had to offer –the connection, the chemistry, the sexual liberation, and of course the heartache.

After my first semester of college, I met the man who was to be a pivotal part of my emotional growth. We dated off and on throughout my many years at the university, and eventually got engaged the year I was graduating. Life sadly took its toll on us, and the wedding was called off four months before my sashay down the aisle. Although I look at it now as one of the best things that ever happened to me, I felt my life had ended the day I handed back my diamond ring, packed the clothes I had in my closet, and walked away from a man I thought was suppose to be with me until the day we died…or at least until one of us got hit by a bus or something dramatic like that.

Eventually, this little lady bounced back from that devastating experience and re-entered the dating field as a heartless force to be reckoned with. I look back at the first five months of my break up and laugh at some of the things I did to cope with my misery. However other times, I’m mortified and baffled as to how I never end up groggily awakening in a bathtub of ice missing a kidney, as that was my mother’s biggest fear at the time. You’ve got to love a woman who watches way too much television!

After all of the experiences I had with men, I realized something about myself. I was not a woman looking for a man who could take care of her. I wasn’t a woman looking for a man who could protect her. Those were things I was already doing on my own. I was looking for someone I could share my life with. Not someone I needed, but someone I wanted. Most independent, professional, single women of our day and age relate to such epiphanies, and then there are those who think what I just wrote was obviously something written in jest. I don’t frown upon women who view differently than myself because, honestly, who am I to judge? But, I at least learned more about myself through all my experiences. With age comes wisdom, right? At least that’s the cliché.

Now I will tell you this much. Having that point of view often times makes it damn hard to find someone. You either face his insecurities of feeling that he isn’t needed – a role ingrained in some men at birth as proof of his manhood and his ability to be the head of the household – and not understanding that the desire to “want” them is a much better payoff than needing them to take care of you. Or, you face a problem with yourself. Sometimes you end up being so detached that you make yourself emotionally unavailable. Thus becoming what you hated in the men you dated prior as you become this person who’s dead inside.

The following excerpts of my downward spiral of dating are not given in any specific timeline of significance. Not that I think that putting my experiences down on paper will simplify someone else’s dating woes, but at least I can put a smile on your face.