It's that time again

Lent is upon us. According to the Catholic church, starting tomorrow I must give something up for the next 40 days in an effort to experience sacrifice as Jesus Christ did for us on the cross and to repent for the sins that led to that...hmmmmm.... Although I kind of think this is a hokey event some historical Catholic created only to impose suffering on worshippers (seeing that the religion is infamous for administering the feelings of guilt and unworthiness), I thought I would instead use it as a platform to test my will for one of my many weaknesses. Weakness for good food, weakness for whiskey, weakness for excessive spending on kitchen gadgetry, weakness for speaking horribly about people who (in all due respect) are just ASKING for me to comment on their lack of fashion basics, weakness for tanned, European men who yacht all day in the French Mediterranean.... Ok, strike that last one.

I can already feel my mother hurling her rosary at me and see all my fair-weather Catholic friends shaking their heads for speaking so poorly of Lent, but I just can't believe that the church equates me giving up using four-letter words for six weeks as "giving me an understanding" of how Christ suffered for us - JEEZ, the man was nailed to a cross in the burning sun with open wounds from being whipped all day! Somehow, I really don't see how that evens out, but oh well...you say tom-AY-to, I say tom-AH-to...

Also, if I consider that my denying myself something as repentance for the sins of those before me who put Jesus on that cross, wouldn't that be reciprocating the age-old oppression excuse? People shouldn't be rewarded for the pain their forefathers experienced nor should we be punished for their evil deeds. Punishment for our own individual acts are fair game though, don't you agree?

Can you believe what I found a particular website to say?!?!? Get this- "...indulging in the pleasure of eating to physical flabbiness and, if this is great enough, an inability to perform in physically demanding situations , indulging in pleasure in general leads to spiritual flabbiness and, if this is great enough, an inability to perform in spiritual demanding situations..." (http://www.cin.org/users/james/files/lent.htm) I'm mesmerized at people's interpretations! "Spiritual flabbiness", that's a new one... You would think with my mother's devout Catholic upbringing, and my family's obsession in believing I've gained 20lbs everytime I see them, that I would've heard of "spiritual flabbiness" by now.

Seriously though, what do I give up in my quest to withhold myself a guilty pleasure? Or should I do the modern-day-Catholic thing and inversely NOT give up something, but instead promise to try to do more of something like working out 3 times a week on a regular basis, feed the homeless, spend more time with my family, etc? Suggestions?