I currently have four email accounts in existence. The primary being my work email in which I have linked directly to my blackberry. I am accessible 24/7...which isn't always a good thing for me. Second, I have Gmail for my personal use and is only given out to friends, family, and bill collectors who remind me each month of how much money they suck out of me for car insurance, car payments, student loans, etc. The third is one I set up in the event that Brad Pitt finally leaves Angelina and realizes how his life has been incomplete without the love of a 5'0" Filipino living in Texas - I needed to secure "brad_loves_rice" on one of the email domains before it was taken...you know, so that we have a contact email for our wedding website and all. And the fourth, an old Hotmail account dating back to my college years. The Hotmail account is what I give out when I either (1) don't like you, (2) have signed up for some giveaway that requires an email address, or (3) I don't like you. I probably check this account once a month only because it is constantly filled with spam mail. I checked the Hotmail account today and found an interesting email I wanted to share.-----
From : Vasilisa Austin
Sent : Thursday, September 27, 2007 12:53 AM
To : Rice Spice
Subject : FW: periphrases myopic lrzv wsptqx
VlAmGRA $2.68
ClmALlS $2.83
AMxBlEN $2.53
(contact website I refuse to give free advertising)
expensive humanoid robots that money can afford. Which money will not
in your honor. Will you be so kind as to follow me?
Stainless Steel Rat, end of everything.
All of which I was very happy to do. With one last look at my
friends safe as well, and that for which you seek, the strange
remaining strength to crawl out onto the ground. Dropped with a groan
-----
First off, I'm bothered by the fact that they must word-play Viagra, Cialis, and Ambien. It's almost like buying a watch off a street vendor in New York's Chinatown. Instead of a Movado, you get a Morado kind of thing. Can you imagine getting half-assed Viagra? You're ready to go, things are going great, and then...Nope. Sorry. Shoulda bought the real stuff.
However, my interest is extremely piqued by the idea of "expensive humanoid robots that money can afford." How expensive is it? Do I have to go through a credit check for one or take out a bank loan such as purchasing a house or car? So many questions. What exactly would I do with an expensive humanoid robot of my very own? And if I could actually afford said expensive humanoid robot, could I get it in my likeness? That way, it could go into work for me or stand in for me at birthday parties or other social events I never really wanted to attend to begin with. At the very least, I would want to take my expensive humanoid robot look-alike to the mall and have it try on outfits so that I know what the clothes look like on me. I hate having to go back to the mall and return things. This would cut my gas expenditures for return trips for sure. I think I might click on the website to find out. Hopefully, they have a toll-free hotline with customer service agents that will have all the answers I need. I may even ask them if the Stainless Steel Rat does any tricks. If you ask me, that's a Christmas white elephant gift just waiting to happen...
2 comments:
I would like a humanoid as well. I hate doing housework, maybe I could program it to clean and wash clothes. That would be awesome! When you find out the cost, let me know. Maybe we could buy one together and you could use if for your functions, and I could use it for housework. We could switch off weeks. Sound good to you???
I want the Stainless Steel Rat. I have no clue what I would do with it, but I imagine that it doesn't eat (or crap) as much as Em's guinea pig and it would be a hell of a lot sturdier, too (rats have been, umm, *loved* a little too hard in the past at my house, ack). SS Rodents -- the pets of the future!
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