Damn those roadside ditches!

So I have always had this fear of ditches. Not like a diagnosed phobia or anything, but more of a paranoia that I will either slide into one in the rain or not clear one when turning into a narrow street like Baby's. Anyway, I have a funny story to tell...

Saturday night after getting off work early, I head over to Baby's. By the time I get there, the boys were 3 shots and a couple of bottles of wine into the evening...yikes! So what's a girl to do in this situation? Options only lead to one solid solution - catch up, of course. After realizing that the evening will be 'one of THOSE nights', we head over to Dark Horse to see 'Lil E. You would think that we would know better than to take this train wreck to a public arena, but alas...not so much. As the nights progressed and the alcohol flowed freely, we decided it was about time to take it back to the house. Baby, Grove, Noodle, Noodlette, and myself are thinking...wow, home by midnight...good stuff. UNTIL...

Grove pulls into Baby's driveway without pulling all the way up, so we are near the edge of the street. Poor Noodlette is beyond coherency at this point so I walk around to help her out of the car. In that instance, her dead weight brings us both toppling over in the grass. As we laugh hysterically, I begin to realize that I am slowly sliding down. "Where am I going?" I wonder. Until it dawns on me that I am not in the flat grassy area, but in fact, on the edge of the grass near the ditch in front of Baby's house. As I realize that I am only seconds away from swimming with every bacteria known to man and that none of the guys are going to get to me in time, I just start to laugh even harder. Seeing as I was a lost cause about falling into the ditch with no way of avoiding it, I try to at least save Noodlette from joining me. In my effort to push her up from my disgusting fate, I only slide myself down the slope even faster. I eventually hit the water and can do nothing but scream, "Good GOD, I'm in the f-ing ditch!" The guys are cracking up, and Grove fishes me out. Jeez!!! Baby missed the debacle entirely except to see me waist-high in ditch water. I end up shedding my jeans, running upstairs and showering immediately. These were the moments where I wish I was so wasted that I wouldn't have cared, but what can you do?

So the moral of the story is: If you ever feel like you had a crappy weekend...just rememer that you were NEVER in a ditch!

(Man, I wish I had pictures to go with this post!)